Random draft i wrote sum random day :)

There's some road construction going on the front road. Every night, after midnight, the sound of crane digging becomes prominent, not disturbing, but just reminds me of the days when i used to be up till morning and nights used to be entertaining and not addictive. Nights when i got acquainted with the nocturnal sounds and not nocturnal online friends. Atleast what i learned in the former, is still with me.

Just finished watching friends, the last episode. Everything changed. For me too. Drastically. But some things just didn't seem to budge. My attitude being one. I have no idea whether to like it or dislike it. And while i was under this impression i realized i've turned out to be way different. I need someone i could talk to. You know, somebody i could really share my fears, confusions, mysteries without any biases...someone who'd sort this out (n not just give me sentimental crap) or just lend a listening ear without being insensitive to the things that mean the most to me .
I always felt i was loner. It changed for some period of time but then again there i was. I have to now accept it that im and be happy with it. There's a continuous conquest for changing myself to what generally is. Im highly surprised when i think of the philosophies i followed during my teenage. They helped me a great deal. It even got me good friends without putting much efforts from my side. Maybe i should follow those again. It all started with losing confidence in me as i saw myself the way i thought others saw me. Im sure i was wrong to a large extent coz even now when i meet my older acquaintances, i discover they hold me in high regard. Sumtimes i wonder how come ppl i hang out with, do not share my interests at all. How come i didn't grow like they did. Why do i have to be dependent on others to go ahead in what i like to do. BIGGEST MISTAKE. U've come alone in this world. U will meet ppl who are like you, who will like you and whom you will like, but that has got nothing to do with meeting your ambitions. U have to grow with them alone, lucky if u have a help but commendable if u do it on ur own.